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Literature Text
Know ye now of how Gregory the Free Man did combat the vexations most foul of his neighbor's apartment, and of the noise complaint which did defeat it.
Gregory, he who guarded travel by air, found himself weary from his long day's vigil. Thrice did his uniform of blue bear the bile of pilgrims, and sleep would verily ease his troubled mind. But the succor of rest proved elusory, for a driving beat could be heard through the eastern wall of his home. Twas the revels of his neighbor, the villain Todd!
Most wretchedly did Todd make merry when the righteous would rest. In dark of night, his music was unceasing, with a rhythm reminiscent of most savage beatings, with lyrics of most saccharine love or recounting vile works of blackguards. Todd gave no care what his music said to the world. He dwelt within his own amusement, and left all around to toil against the noise which issued from it. Sickly yellow light spewed forth from his windows, rousing those who would share his space.
Gregory, most tired from his labors, was put upon like no other. Those savage drums, those wicked words, those shrieking melodies of noise! If his ears were sailors upon the vessel of his body, they'd have gladly jumped into stormy waters rather than pilot any further. Every insult he bore in his duty of the day could not compare to that weight upon him from the music, like a millstone running down his skull.
How could he endure? If a home is not a castle, then surely 'tis a prison.
Thus did Gregory accept no more the avalanche of noise. Thus did he put forth a call unto constabulary, and seek aid in pursuit of justice!
Through noisome song, no relief could be heard, but Gregory was relieved when he beheld flashing lights of blue upon the alley near his dwelling. His heart did leap with joy, for he put out a call for the enforcement of law, and indeed the law did send forth champions to defend it. With shining badges and azure blaze, policemen entered that building.
What noise came forth! What thunder clapped! For Todd the villain would heed no rule but his own! Those officers which sought the peace instead found transgression there. Music alone was not Todd's sin, and those police did find foul brews within!
Thus did Gregory, by mildest means, expose the evil of a methamphetamine laboratory, and so was justice done.
Gregory, he who guarded travel by air, found himself weary from his long day's vigil. Thrice did his uniform of blue bear the bile of pilgrims, and sleep would verily ease his troubled mind. But the succor of rest proved elusory, for a driving beat could be heard through the eastern wall of his home. Twas the revels of his neighbor, the villain Todd!
Most wretchedly did Todd make merry when the righteous would rest. In dark of night, his music was unceasing, with a rhythm reminiscent of most savage beatings, with lyrics of most saccharine love or recounting vile works of blackguards. Todd gave no care what his music said to the world. He dwelt within his own amusement, and left all around to toil against the noise which issued from it. Sickly yellow light spewed forth from his windows, rousing those who would share his space.
Gregory, most tired from his labors, was put upon like no other. Those savage drums, those wicked words, those shrieking melodies of noise! If his ears were sailors upon the vessel of his body, they'd have gladly jumped into stormy waters rather than pilot any further. Every insult he bore in his duty of the day could not compare to that weight upon him from the music, like a millstone running down his skull.
How could he endure? If a home is not a castle, then surely 'tis a prison.
Thus did Gregory accept no more the avalanche of noise. Thus did he put forth a call unto constabulary, and seek aid in pursuit of justice!
Through noisome song, no relief could be heard, but Gregory was relieved when he beheld flashing lights of blue upon the alley near his dwelling. His heart did leap with joy, for he put out a call for the enforcement of law, and indeed the law did send forth champions to defend it. With shining badges and azure blaze, policemen entered that building.
What noise came forth! What thunder clapped! For Todd the villain would heed no rule but his own! Those officers which sought the peace instead found transgression there. Music alone was not Todd's sin, and those police did find foul brews within!
Thus did Gregory, by mildest means, expose the evil of a methamphetamine laboratory, and so was justice done.
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Ha! They put that knave in his place!